"You're gonna ask God to do what?"

Beware: this post is like my inner dialogue written out!  Posting, Bible study, and just about anything has been really difficult lately.  I suffer from depression.  Many of you, unfortunately, have probably been there. 
Spring has finally gotten to my part of the world, but, to me, it just feels like one more thing to deal with.  All the closet cleaning, planting, painting, muddy shoes, wet doggy feet, and so much more. 
I have been waiting for this fog to lift, but I also haven't been in The Word much.  How can I expect things to happen and resolve when I have forgotten who to talk to when things get tough?!
 It's like the stereotypical adage of a woman, when asked "what's wrong?" answers "Nothing."  God knows all.  He knows what I am going through.  But I still need to bring it to Him.  I need to make sure my heart is right, too.  If I am truly seeking Him and what He wants for my life, then I can come to Him with any burdens and sorrows. 
I was listening to a recording by pastors Francis Chan and James McDonald the other day.  The Holy Spirit convicted me of the way I have been dealing with some personal situations lately.  I realized that I was hurting one of God's children with my bad attitude and hurtful words.  Francis Chan talked about a church member who came forward for prayer in dealing with an illness.  When Francis talked later with this young man he asked him if he had any issues that would be keeping him from being completely open with God.  The young man shrugged off some little issues and then muttered something about his girlfriend.  Francis found out, through some probing, that this man was living with his girlfriend and was not in a sexually pure relationship with her.  I loved Francis' reaction.  He said something like, "And you want me to go to God with you and ask for help?!"  He remarked, "That's like you sleeping with my daughter and then coming to me to ask for a favor!"  Man, that hurt. 
Things aren't miraculously wonderful today.  However, I, now, know that I need to begin with my own heart and my own relationship with God.  The Holy Spirit tends to slap me upside the head like this sometimes.  Probably, because I need it!  Later that day, I was going through a class from Shanna Noel.  At the end of the session she challenged me to find a verse about peace and strength.  I had lots of trouble finding one.  After looking through an old art journal I found a note about relying on God in rough times with 1 Peter 4:12-13 noted next to it.  After looking up the verse, I quickly got out some art supplies and went at it.  I was interrupted many times and had to make dinner. (I can't get those kids to stop eating!)  After many breaks I was fairly happy with what I was taught and what I had made that day.


1 Peter 4:12-13

It was like the preverbial bandage that got ripped off the wound.  But then there was this smooth and clean skin underneath.  God's discipline is not always easy to take, but it brings about some amazing growth and joy.  I encourage you to really dive in to the Word.  Let it speak to your heart and hands.  Don't let rules and restrictions keep you from creating what your heart is speaking to your Father.  Be blessed.

Do you need to do it all?

So are you ready?  Are you ready to say goodbye to all that happened in 2014 and move on to an all new you in 2015?  Don't we wish?!
 It never really happens like that.  We sometimes imagine ourselves as this amazing crafter with delicious food and intelligent and polite children.  Think about it.  Don't you sometimes put these pressures on yourself and try to do it all? 
Martha Stewart and the like have been my role models in years past, but then I heard about what kind of marriage she had and how stressed her relationship was with her daughter.  After obsessing about eating clean, teaching kids everything I can before kindergarten, trying to be green and self-sufficient, and whatever trend seemed relative to our lifestyle; I came to a realization.  Stop.
This isn't something new, but I think it needs to be said out loud.  It's okay to do the minimum, as long as you are trying to take care of you and the family around you.  This is not a license to abuse others around you and be a slacker. 
There are just so many pressures on moms to be everything to everyone and it just ends badly, really badly.  There is an epidemic number of alcoholic moms, moms on depressants, and shattered marriages.  There is nothing good that comes from having it all! 
Will you sit in your rocker one day and tell your great-grandchildren about all the cool things you decoupaged or about the Christmas that all the kids were so sick you almost didn't have Christmas?  Does all the cute and crafty stuff matter in the end?  Maybe if you are earning a living from it, but it's who you are earning for and what is being done with it that matter. 
There is nothing wrong with being a Crafty Cathy.  Busyness is the root of the problem.   I can't wait to get out my paints and markers some days, but it comes when I can devote time to my crafting (and God) that doesn't come at a cost to anyone else or anything else. 
 I am not a fan of some of the language in the book, but Life's Too Short To Fold Fitted Sheets, by Lisa Quinn, is a swift kick in the pants.  Lisa is an Emmy award-winning TV host, author, and mom who has been in many publications and appeared on HGTV and Oprah.  She knows about busyness.  She brings to light just how important the little things are to our kids, but not so much to all the outsiders looking in at your shabby chic refurbished thrift store finds.
There are a few things I would like to work on in 2015.  The biggest being the busyness I can't seem to get away from.  I have a stockpile of recipes that my family can happily eat for months.  Three out of the four kids are in school.  And we finally live in a home that accomodates six people.  This should be a time of life that I should be able to let the craziness of trying new recipes and growing herbs from my windows go.  My focus now is my family and my God.  What do you need to let go of from the past and what do you need to hug tightly in the present?  Happy New You!