soaring through Christmas

The holiday season is chaotic. Cookie swaps, MOPS Christmas, Christmas tea, school programs (times 4), decorating the home, decorating the church.  Your calendar probably looks very similar. 
With all the busyness, we can miss the real joy.  Joy that comes in the fellowship, the food, the entertainment.  The first day of my Advent study suggested that I rest, really!?  That imperfection is not even noticeable!?  That's crazy talk!  Or is it?
The month of December also bring with it some bittersweet memories for me.  My brother would be turning 39 on December 2nd, but he took his life 16 years ago.  The thought of him, my mother-in-law, and grandparents missing out on the fun of our young children enjoying life makes our hearts ache a little.  Christmas has been in a transition mode for several years now.  The matriarch of the family is gone.  My parents moved during the last two winters.  Many of the "kids" in the family are now getting married and changing their traditions.  It leaves me wondering what traditions do I really need to cling to and why. 

The last two years I have taken the time to still myself and read through the Gospels during Advent.  This year I purchased an Advent study from Naptime Diaries and am following along with the Illustrated Faith community for #illustratedadvent.  Taking time to reflect on His Word and create something for myself helps me to put everything into perspective.
I am blessed.  Blessed with the hope that one day I may be able to introduce my brother and mother-in-law to the children they didn't know in this life.  Blessed to have a Savior that is also my King.  Blessed to have the hope of a better tomorrow because He carries me through.
Before the craziness of the season took over I got the opportunity to create a page in my Bible based on that hope.  The song "Soar" by Meredith Andrews is amazing!  I got to see her perform a few years ago with James McDonald and the  "Walk In The Word" tour.   As she was about to perform "Can Anybody Hear Me," she talked about the silence she felt during a time in her life where she was distant from God.  What she said really related to the famine I was going through then, as well.  Feeling like God wasn't listening and was nowhere to be found.  But He was.  He was right there waiting for me to press into Him a little closer and to give Him the troubles I was going through.  I was an instant fan. 
So when her newest single, "Soar," came across the radio I was listening intently.  "I know in everything You're with me.  I know You're working as I wait.  Lift me up on wings like eagles to soar."  She gets me.  We must be soul sisters.  I had to get it out in paint!

The passage in Isaiah 40:31 says it the same, "Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will run and not grow faint."  If we choose to put our hope in Christ then we can rise above all the small stuff that can weigh us down. 
This time of year is notorious for unnecessary stress.  We try to do it all and to a memory making Norman Rockwell standard.  I am deciding to choose hope and soar above all the chaos.  I will still make cookies and attend endless concerts, but I will choose to be fully present rather than just barely there. Soaring through the fun and festivities!

Side note: After pondering all of this God sent the message home loud and clear through this devotional today.  Amongst the froot loops and backpacks He speaks.

My Bible art flip through.

Spring Break.  There is no break for this momma.  A few years ago I realized why mothers go through the "empty nest syndrome."  It's because your life is in constant overdrive for 18+ years (or 28, in my case) and then you are left with all the wreckage. 

I have not been able to enjoy much art/me time in the past month.   So, I thought I would share what I have done in my Journaling Bible during the past six months or so. 

You tube and I haven't gotten very acquainted yet.  I had children and a dog making lots of noise while I tried to record.  An attempt was made to try to change the audio and it didn't quite work out how I would have liked.  However, that leaves me something to do in about 15 years from now.  When I feel like I don't have anything to do.  Enjoy and Easter blessings!

How do you keep up?

A few weeks ago I was walking down the hall after MOPS to retrieve my youngest.  One of the moms came alongside me and said that she had seen some of my Bible pages on instagram.  She made some very gracious and sweet compliments and then wondered how I did it.  More specifically, she wondered how I made time to journal.  There was a journaling challenge that I had mentioned in a previous post that she had joined.  I was honored and excited that she would consider these groups just upon my opinion.  However, she was feeling pressured by the journaling challenges.  Yet again, I felt honored (and a little prideful) that she thought I had it all together enough to be doing this wonderful artsy stuff all the time.  NOT! 
I hadn't done any journaling in weeks.  How could I appear like an artfully talented momma of four to this young mother?!    There had actually been one of those cartoon rain clouds following me around for a few weeks.  My husband, of course, asked, "Did I do something?"  I, honestly, couldn't give him a definitive answer.  It's not him, it's not the kids, it's not the weather.  Then I realized.  I had been letting the voices of comparison, self-hate, and uneasiness settle into my heart.
None of us have it together!  Do we?  That's what we are here for.  Earth.  Life.  It's training for the life of "all together."  That's the perfection that I'm striving for.  I have no idea if I will have the artistic creativity that I desire when I get to Heaven, but I have a feeling that it won't really matter.  While I am here, in this town, with this imperfect life, I will use my art to keep sane and praise my God. 
So when this young lady asked how I could find the time to keep up with frequent journaling I explained my stance on it.  "Do what you feel led by the Spirit to do.  Journaling challenges are great prompts; ways to get the creative juices flowing."  As mothers and women we feel compelled to do it all and do it amazing!  "I do what I can when I can," is my stance.  Sometimes, my sanity depends on it and sometimes my family depends on me.  I have to trust that the Lord will give me the time to come to him in this form of worship when it's appropriate.



Romans 3:25 and Romans 5:8

Today was the first day in a weeks that I was able to take a few minutes to do a very simple page from the Take Me Deeper challenge.  It only happened because the weather broke and my kids went outside for a few minutes to play.
When it comes to Jesus's death or the sacrifice on the cross I just don't have the words or means to express that depth yet.  My artistic abilities are basic so I decided to let music speak for me.  An old illustration and  hymnal page were layered with ink and washi tape.   The tip-out leaves me the freedom to change the page whenever the ability comes or the Spirit moves. 

My three year old came in after having enough bike riding to hold the Bible open for a picture.  There was a rainbow on the page coming from the prism in the window.  She and this prism have a history.   We have been catching rainbows since she was old enough to sit upright and touch them on the carpet. 
Take heart mommas of little ones.  Life will let up a little, every once in a while.  Don't always try to catch up with dishes and laundry.  Spend some time at his feet Martha.  When God calls you to come to Him, you will be replenished.  Dawn and dishes don't bring soul fulfilling joy (no pun intended).  Take time these coming weeks of Lent to see how He stirs your heart.  Whether it's writing it down, drawing it, taking a photo, or stoking the rosy cheeks of a small person.  Art is what He has created that stirs joy within your soul.

Perfection only breeds headaches and yelling.

Bible reading whenever it allows.

Recently I have been bombarded with messages of simplicity and minimalism.  This kind of constant reminding is usually a prompting from God, in my opinion.   I am not a hoarder, by any means.  However, because of the chaos that goes on with four kids and a dog, I am always looking for a way to control the chaos.  Let me tell you right now.  Don't try.  The only thing I have found that works and stays is getting rid of the chaos. 

 

Because three of my four children are challenged by their attention span and listening skills, I have to take charge of their surroundings.  Most of the time they don't even realize the small things I do to help keep them focused like removing all items from the homework area except our pencil caddy.  I keep all the electronics corralled in another room with the cords.  The TV isn't turned on when they come in, etc.

 

I say this because we have been working, as a family, to remove even more distractions.  Yesterday each child went through their shoes, clothes, and drawers to remove anything they don't like or don't wear.  We filled a large garbage bag and set it aside for the battered women's shelter.  I have only run into resistance if I try to steamroll over their choices and purge while they are at school.  Yes, it's harder and takes longer to do it with them.  But, so does any life skill that they need to learn by doing.

 

I got an twitter update today to let me know that Sarah Mae has a book out that is on sale and, guess what, it's about minimizing!  I tell you all this, because my schedule is already full and I have fallen behind on my Bible reading.  I hear some gasps.  I used to feel like this was a cardinal sin, myself.  However, as I grow as a mother and disciple, I realize that I can only do what I can do for that day.  My children need me.  My husband needs me.  Friends and family need me.  It goes without saying that God needs me.  God needs me to be there for these same people.  He knows I can't always get my Bible reading in on days when my children want to play outside on an unusually warm winter day.  He knows my reading comes at the end, or sometimes not at all, of a busy Friday of shopping, meetings, and play dates. 

 

I have a huge chunk missing from this past week's reading log.  Did you catch that in the picture up there?  But, you know what?  I'm kind of proud of that empty space.  "Be still and know that I am God," from Psalm 46:10, tells us that sometimes we are to just enjoy God, His creation, and His gifts.  He knows my heart.  And He knows my limits.  Perfection just brings out the yelling and headaches.  Not the calm and sweet.

 

Goals and schedules are okay.  You have to have a little guidance to help you through your day, but being a slave to it removes God from the picture.  The Bible reading becomes a duty instead of a time of worship and fellowship with God.  I like to try to follow the M'Cheyne Bible reading plan that takes you through the Bible in a year.  There is also a Bible study that my husband and I take part in during Sunday school at our church.  So, I do have some things that I try to follow, but I know there are times that life takes the chunk of my reading log instead of a list of scripture passages.  It's okay, for now.  One day, I will not have a house full of chaos and I will probably miss it.  Then is when I will be able to pour over my Bible and delve deeper in the Word.  Right now, I delve into my family and friends